Torah Readers Reflections

Halachah

In the Talmud, one of the primary sources for traditional Jewish Law (Halachah), happiness and sadness are associated with specific months of in the Jewish calendar. One is meant to increase in happiness during the month of Adar and decrease in happiness during the month of Av. In Jewish Law, rejoicing during the Jewish holidays is considered a biblical commandment. Maimonides, Mishneh Torah, Laws of the Lulav 8:15.

משנכנס אדר מרבין בשמחה

There is a Jewish custom to hang a sign in one’s home on which is written “When Adar comes in, increase in happiness” Mishenichnas Adar marbin b’simcha, משנכנס אדר מרבין בשמחה

On a personal note 

Like many, I am fascinated with the idea of pursuing happiness, every single day. One of the things I’ve learned is that in order for me to elevate myself into a state of joy, I have to become aware of, and let go of toxic thought patterns. Toxic thought patterns prevents from us all to live a happier life, thought patterns which prevented me from being in a state of joy.

After many months of social distancing, the fact that there’s so much of an urgency to disconnect, creates a lot of fear with people. “Humans are wired to be social creatures, and that’s how we cope when a big disaster happens,” said Judith Moskowitz, a professor of medical social science at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine. “Now, we’re being told to cope with this by staying away from each other.” True, we all have good reasons to be upset and sad, but it’s not healthy for us. How come we agree to live unhealthy, unhappy life? The art of being b’simchah, being happy, is a hard work. So how do you live a happy life? Is it really possible?

The Bible is full of of verses that speak of joy, rejoicing, and being happy. It was Leo Tolstoy who said, “Happiness does not depend on outward things, but on the way we see them”.

Fear and Hate versus Love & Joy

I’m sure we can all agree that Love & Joy are higher state of being than Fear & Hate. Joy takes time, effort and a daily commitment to attain and maintain.

With this blog I will humbly try to share many pearls of wisdom, based on Torah, Talmud, Psalms, sacred text, wise people, books I’ve read, comforting and elevating pearls of wisdom, for practical daily use. These pearls of wisdom are an essential part of maintaining my state of joy. Some days are more challenging than others, I’m not always joyous, no one is, but there many pearls of wisdom awaiting for us all to be picked up, as God’s precious gift to us.

Being happy is our natural state of being. Need evidence? look at children, before they reach the age of self-awareness they have no worry and they are happy, like we used to be as little children…

“Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest.”- Sri Chinmoy

What is happiness?

Many people spend a large amount of their time striving for, and praying for a lot of money, a fulfilling romantic relationship, a successful career, a beautiful house, a luxurious car, thinking these are the keys to happiness and peace of mind, only to find that once you get them, you keep wanting the next best thing. There is always a next best thing or a desire waiting to be fulfilled, with the hope that it will make you feel “happy”, an illusion dangling like a carrot just out of your reach. We seem to always want more, the more the merrier when it comes to the outside world. We all know people who seem to “have it all,” but don’t seem to be happy at all. How come?

What You Want Versus What You Have

People who are more satisfied with what they have are happier overall. A University of Northern British Columbia study in the 1980’s found that people who aspired to have more money, friends, career success, and health than others were less happy. Being content with what they had was linked to a higher level of satisfaction and happiness.

So, What IS Happiness?

The research suggests that happiness is a combination of how satisfied you are with your life and how good you feel on a day-to-day basis. Psychologist David Lykken says that our “set point” of how happy we are is determined by genes, but the good news is that with consistent effort, regardless of your genetics, you can learn how to become a happy person. whether we can overcome this depends on training and experience. Even with a low “set point,” a person can encourage themselves to be happy with the power of positive thinking.

Pearls of wisdom

In his book “The Power of Positive Thinking: A Practical Guide to Mastering the Problems of Everyday Living” published in 1952, Norman Vincent Peale shares many pearls of wisdom in regards to happiness, and the ways to attain and maintain a state of happiness. I’ll quote three pearls of wisdom from his book: “To become a happy person, have a clean soul, eyes that see romance in the commonplace, a child’s heart, and spiritual simplicity.” “Our happiness depends on the habit of mind we cultivate.” and “Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”

What makes us happy?

Those who feel they deserve everything can never be satisfied. Those with no expectations, who feel they deserve nothing, that every breath is a gift- they carry an inner joy in all they do.

Rich versus Poor- A Story 

There was a boy, whose family was very wealthy. One day his father took him on a trip to the country, where he wanted to show his son, how poor people live. So they arrived to a farm of a very poor family, as he considered. They spent there several days. On their return, the father asked his son, “Did you notice how poor people live?” “Yes, I did“- said the boy, “We have one dog, and they have four of them. In our backyard there is a pool, while they have a river that has no end. We’ve got expensive lanterns, but they have stars above their heads at night. We have the patio, and they have the whole horizon. We have only a small piece of land, while they have the endless fields. We buy food, but they grow it. We have high fence for protection of our property, and they don‘t need it, as their friends protect them.”

The father was stunned. He could not say a word. Then the boy added: “Thank you, dad, for letting me see how poor we are.”

This story shows that the true wealth as well as happiness is not measured by materials things. Love, friendship and freedom are far more valuable.

Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler said “There is no happiness in the world of material things; there is only happiness in spiritual concerns. The one who enjoys a rich spiritual life is happy. There is no other kind of happiness in existence.”

A Simchah

Happiness is not specified in the Torah as a separate mitzvah. Yet, throughout the Talmud, Midrash and Kabbalah, joy is central in all areas of Judaism. A popular teaching by Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, a 19th-century Chassidic Rabbi, is “Mitzvah Gedolah Le’hiyot Besimchah Tamid,” it is a great mitzvah (commandment) to always be in a state of happiness. One of the early Chasidic masters, Rabbi Aharon of Karlin said, “There is no mitzvah to be joyous, but joy can bring on the greatest mitzvot.” It is also true, he said, that “it is not a sin to be sad, but sadness can bring on the greatest sins.”

The pursuit of happiness

There are many lists and guides out there, promising to help us become happy / happier people. The truth is you can’t have your cake and eat it too. You can’t simultaneously be in the midst of pursuing something, including happiness, and be happy at the same time. As happiness is a state of pursuing nothing. Having no expectations, however, there are habits which helps us be in a state of happiness.

The 8 keys to happiness

GIVE– “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” -Winston S. Churchill. If you want to feel good, do good to others.

FORGIVE & FORGET – “ The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.”- Thomas Szasz. Forgiving yourself and then the others, allows you to live more freely. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting but acceptance.

GRATITUDE – “Gratitude is the sweetest thing in a seeker’s life- in all human life. If there is gratitude in your heart, then there will be tremendous sweetness in your eyes”- Sri Chinmoy. “Modah Ani Lefanecha” Know how to thank and express to those and to yourself how grateful you are for the life you have and for all these beautiful things that happen every day.

SELF-CARE– “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” –Buddha

DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS– “A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms”- Zen Shin

LEARN TO SAY NO– “It’s only by saying NO that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.” – Steve Jobs

HAVE A PURPOSE IN LIFE– “The two most important days in life are the day you born and the day you find out why.” – Mark Twain

BE OPTIMISTIC – “The mind is everything. What you think you become.” – Buddha. Be always optimistic about life. If you choose to be happy, you will be happy; because happy people don’t have the best of everything, instead they choose to make the best of everything.

Why it’s so hard to be happy?

Considering our daily pressures, workloads, and now, living in The Corona Era, it is very easy to understand why Joy is the hardest of all levels to attain and maintain. If you want to be a happy person you need to create a positive set of mind. Another key to happiness is to understand the importance of our thoughts . Our Thoughts have the power to shape our lives and also create our Happiness. Positive thinking leads to positive feelings leads to positive actions.

Kabbalah

The Zohar, a central text in Kabbalah notes that the Hebrew word for “in happiness” b’simchah, בשמחה‎ contain the same letters as the Hebrew word for “thought” machshava, מחשבה referring to idea that the key to happiness is found in our thoughts, by training oneself to weed out any negative thought that prevent one from experiencing happiness.

Happy children

Happiness is the natural human state. Unless a child is hungry or thirsty or tired, or needs attention, a child is happy for no reason at all. Children are not self-conscious. They are free to be happy because they are not yet aware of themselves. It is only when we mature and become more self-aware that we also become worried and have unfulfilled desires and unrealized dreams. None of us can honestly say we have it all, and we can always find reasons to be sad. But a child is looking at the cup half full, and isn’t bothered by what he/she is “missing,” so he/she does have it all. The child’s lack of self-consciousness leaves him/her free to enjoy life and be happy.